Depends on a few things:1) How far along is the person in their recovery?
Are they getting some form of treatment, or are they not drinking, yet continuing the same behavioral patterns as when they were intoxicated (dry drunk? Can you be strong for the good days and the bad days? Generally, alcoholics do not like having alcohol around the house, nor do they go to bars. Sober close to three years, have worked the program for almost a year.
I am a twenty-three year old college student, who has been recovering from alcoholism for over two years.
I do not subscribe to any recovery programs and I feel comfortable (most of the time) around alcohol. I have recently found that I have problems meeting people my age (particularly for romantic relations) because I am (as my mother says) a non-active alcoholic.
I found myself in a church basement at an Alanon meeting while she was out getting drunk. There were women in their 70's still waiting for their partners to dry out. This process is called detachment - you remove yourself from the problem and just accept the good. If it comes back, its yours, If it doesn't it never was."ya my dad used to say he was sorry over a lot of things.doesnt change threataning a childs life. or making them live in sticking them with issues for years if not forever.someday soon I,ll be getting revenge.usually bullys arent to happy when someone gets bigger.^^^^^^^^^^^^^I geuss you can kind of tell I,m not to fond of alcoholics huh? I need to hear from people who have been there and I realize that by responding to me you are revisiting old wounds. She refers to his binges as 'rest time' because he won't answer his phone and will not answer his door. Most addicts / alcoholics must hit rock bottom before they can try to quit, they must loose their jobs, houses, support of family, loved ones. Sometimes when the addict sees that you are getting healthy,,by continuing to live your own life and seek help for your own issues, they may follow suit, or they may not.. Good major problem with most in my family (especially dad) is they dont really have a drug of choice. I was over that by about 6th being said the second anyone puts there hands on me. i know that sounds harch and cruel, but he will just distroy you.. as for bns they are all right if you love him let him go , dont help him kill himself, and if you love yourself you must leave , Iknow, I dont want to explain, but you need to look to god for stregnth and find yourself again, find the you thats you, the you without him , JUST YOU. and dont be angry or sad, its all part of the journey to a better place in your life.
I found I could go visit him during the day and have a good relationship with him - and not see or experience all the other crap that went on. He has a mother that picks up his dirty laundry for him, brings it back all clean and folded, leaves groceries at his door and covers his rent for him. This is the prayer I turn to not only to maintain my sobriety but for life in general God grant me: Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. They also say at Al Anon, when you don't know what to do, do nothing. Trust that you are in the situation to learn and only YOU can make the decision to stay or leave. because i'm sure he must have drainned you emotionaly.. take it one day at a in time you will know you made the right decision, if its on your mind, maybe you should listen,and trust in god to make everything alright.
I have found that time and time again I will be having a great discussion with someone and my sobriety will come up, and it pretty much ends all relations.
I find it very frustrating because I am not ashamed of being sober. And furthermore, do you have any suggestions that I could use to make people feel more at ease with my sobriety? Americans in general claim that they accept that alcoholism is a disease, and accept AA.
I wonder why you say you are recovering from alcoholism, however.
If he decides to quit drinking it will be a solitary journey, with the exception of professional help and organizations such as AA. As hard as it is, go back out in the world and find someone else. If you eat a bag of cookies,, you're gonna be in trouble. And you saying that he has called AA is not nearly enough, he might have done that to please you and keep you with him for a while longer ,, what he needs is to go away to a Detox Centre,, i did for 28 days,, they tare you appart and rebuild you. to some degree i mean,, but he HAS to want to quit..
He may decide to dry out once you leave him but don't count on it. You have to take care of yourself.solve it the way I solve drink they get tough they get beaten with whatever is within my reach (and I,ve got long ass arms)I,ll admit to the odd binge. I found a book many years ago titled "Codependant No More" and when I read it the big thought going through my mind was "Holy Shit - this is me! Everyone can preach to the choir, and you can't deny that you have feelings for the guy, but the fact of the matter is that you cannot fix him, no matter how much you try, and you will just make yourself sick trying. Just as sure as I sit here typing you are one more cause for his drinking. If you're a diabetic, you need to take your medication and eat properly. just a drunk **** that needs to go toe to toe with a how much most like to fight after knowing what that intimidation can be like (fear is the greatest weapon in the world.)I think every relationship in the past that involved substance abuse, be it Booze, Street or Psych Drugs, those relationships fell apart in no Time. it's not that he doesn't love you, but booze is a very hard thing to stop!!
He says he wants to quit, because he doesn't want to lose you.. But tells me that he is 'scared to death' of going. The only outcome is that you sink further and further. It is extremely difficult to resist the urge to want to help but the only thing that derives from your helping is that you wind up hurting yourself repeatedly and they continue to use booze as the only way they know how to cope.
is for him, and until he hits bottom, that isn't going to be happening. Sprinkle the pain with a few positive reminders that this is HIS problem, not yours, and the small amount of pain you have now from leaving will be vastly less than the huge amount of pain you will endure if you stay. He claims to love me, he claims to want to quit..even has gone so far as to call AA. You know that it's not good for you, but you keep going back expecting a different outcome.