' 'The thrill, the excitement is gone from my marriage,' George complains to his mate, Tony. Go ahead and tell her about it.' So George returns home and says, 'Poppet, I think an affair will bring us closer together.' 'Forget it,' replies his wife. 'Lummee, George,' explains Tony, 'this is the 21st century we live in, mate." "Yeah, totally insane, he never greets." A man wants to do a new parachute record: The longest freefall without pulling the rip cord. Then it’s only 150, 120, 90, 60, 30 feet till the ground.
Jack, a very young lad aged 4 years, says to his father, 'Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married.' His father explains, 'For that Jack, you have to have a boy and a girl.' So Jack answers, 'I've already found a girl.' 'Who? If all else fails, asking for help will get you a laugh and buy you time.
I know the food is good there, and I've already spoken to the Matron and the Hospital chef and I've paid the bill.
2nd year - 'Listen, sweetie, I don't like the sound of that cough.
There's no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that's been going around.
I'm going to take you right down to the private hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest.