Its tearing me up inside, its even affecting our sex life because whenever I want to be intimate with him I think of all they have done and I get turned off. Those are the same experiences that make him able to love you.The good experiences he had with her are ones he'll want to have with you too and the bad ones are ones he'll avoid with you.I also have children who live with me and she is concerned that the combined household - all with one last name except her two children would make them feel left out. My advice is to go ahead and get married, the sooner the better. That's plenty long enough to know if you want to marry. He smokes cigarettes, which I knew going into the relationship, but recently he revealed during a conversation we had about our vices that he gets high almost every night.Let her know you support her wishes and that she can have any last name she wants. I was shocked that he smoked pot so regularly and I had never picked up on it or noticed changes in his behavior.She wants me to consider having her keep her current last name, which is the same as her second child even after we are married. As for how the children will feel, they will get used to the idea that they have different last names.I don't feel comfortable being married to someone with their ex-husband's last name. Don't let then even think for a minute that you consider it a problem and they won't either. Tracy I am 25 and have been dating a thoughtful, attentive and incredibly caring guy for about 5 months now.Now that was are living together for the first time now I can see how close they were, and it is making me jealous. Your husband's past is what makes him the man he is and the person you love.Every "first" we have doesn't feel special to me because he already had that with someone else. He spent time with this other woman and had lots of good experiences as well as some bad ones.
You've just married the love of your life, you're 28, you have your whole lives ahead of you, and you're going to mess up your lives with this unreasonable jealousy. As for families, vow to get along even better with his family than she did.
Instead of feeling jealous of her, you should feel sorry for her.
If you can't totally stop your jealous feelings, don't let them affect your life and your relationship.
She has been married and divorced twice, with one child from each marriage. It really doesn't matter at all and in the long run there are so many more important issues.
Because of already having two children with separate last names, she is concerned about changing her last name to mine and the effect it would have on her children. In today's world there are so many blended families that everyone has different last names and nobody thinks about it twice. If the two of you are happy together, if you love her and she loves you, if your children can get along, if you support and respect each other, then go for it.