Cold contempt, snide comments or old-fashioned petulantly ignoring your partner are just as emotionally damaging forms of conflict as a knock-down, drag-out, neighbors-called-the-cops argument.
It’s the trust be rebuilt and find the strength to forgive them.
Maybe they can’t quite bring themselves to let go of previous arguments and they’ve been storing up slights and affronts like prize tickets from passive-aggressive games of emotional skee-ball and now they’re ready to get the giant stuffed teddy bear of I-Am-Less-Wrong-Than-You-Therefore-I-Win.
It’s worth noting that fighting doesn’t just mean raised voices and harsh words.
Hell, for some couples, the “explode at one another, then passionate make-up sex” is part of their dynamic and they’re just fine with it.
Not because the bride and groom will take them seriously and be offended, or because they aren’t funny (the “suffer-ring” line is clever!
); but because the best wedding gift you can give the couple is a message of a positive and loving future.
I mean quotes that get their humor from playing on stereotypes and bad assumptions about married life, in-laws, wives, children and husbands.
When we retell these jokes and quotes, we subtly reenforce the logic behind them–logic that is actually destructive to marriage.