It is so freeing to them to learn to deal with the fears on their own level and to give responsibility back to the person who they wanted to change. Knowing your fears can be a important part for her to figure out this problem. If you do it for her she can not learn what she needs to learn.
Counseling is a good thing if you have the right counselor.
She knows and has admitted to me that she realizes this guy is not what she wants, but she said he is a comfort to her for some reason and she finds it hard to break away.I hope sharing my story and suggestions will help this situation. The first thing to realize is that you can never change someone else. By doing that the people around you respond differently to you and start to change also.I work with people everyday who come in wanting to change someone else.If you can just back off, let her make her own decisions (and take the consequences) and pray for her, you will show her that this is what love is...allowing someone to make their own decisions.Then she might find a guy who also knows how to make his own good decisions.He can't keep a job, he doesn't own or rent, he now lives with a cousin, he doesn't have any money, he continues to lie to her.. He can be charming but come on, you need more than a heart, you need a brain too - remember the wizard of Oz?I throw a bit of humor in there, but truly, this situation has really taken its toll on me. I encouraged her to start counseling, which she has begun. I dated my highschool sweetheart from my Soph year in highschool until my soph year in college.I am praying so hard that this helps her and that she realizes her potential and doesn't waste any more time with these type of guys. My parents didn't know what to do- they knew he was not right for me and I was in danger (he was in a gang, etc).Has anyone else experienced this type of situation with their daughter(s) and if so, did they finally come around and realize that they could do so much better and did they finally see the big red flags? Finally at age 27,after a string of one loser guy after another I finally made a change. She just needs to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. He wasn't going to college, didn't have a steady job, was very jealous.... The more my parents told me not to see him it pushed me closer to him.I was scared that he would retaliate, etc, but he did not.I hope counseling helps your daughter because i really don't have an answer of how to make her see your point.