At some point he reached for the condom and I could barely feel him. What you need to realize is that no one is perfect. Stop looking at what your spouse could do different and begin to change yourself. So many people think the grass is greener on the other side. I’m taking you to a movie tonight and buying the popcorn. Fighting a lot, saying a lot of hurtful things to one another. Since I have decided that, I have taken time to realize what I could do to be a better wife. You actually noticed and you tried harder to be a better husband. When you walked through the door that evening after work I hugged you. I held you all night and laid my head on your chest. I knew the moment I did that things would go very fast for us. There was a year and a half that our marriage was very rough.Forget the penny pinching I have been doing for months to pay your bullshit off while I paying my shit off too. I really appreciate you working 60 hours weeks for us to barely get by. I dread Fridays when I check to see what amount was deposited in the account and it barely enough to buy the groceries. I don't know if I need to get off this crazy train or stay along for the ride. Putting our hands on each other is not acceptable by any means even though deep down I am glad I punched you in the chin. I feel like I have too much invested in this relationship to quit.But I do work two jobs and have to come home and clean and cook you dinner! Just when I feel like we can't work any longer and you want to leave I won't let you. Yet I have to get a fucking Title pawn to pay rent. Even though you tell me I can do better than you (I honestly think I can) I don't want to. Even though you are two inches shorter than me and people say we are the odd couple I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
I sometimes feel I'm being ungrateful because you are sweet, caring, a good provider, considerate, and most of all a great father, but somehow you forget that I'm a woman who would love to be touched by her husband. I know we have your body but we need your spirit and love. Just because I am more spiritual than you are doesn't mean I'm into "woo woo voodoo shit." I accept your journey and I just wish you'd accept mine. He soon got up and complained that the bed was too small (so he and the bed have something in common) and he had a cramp. It doesn't matter that you are doing everything right. His death has broken me in ways I am unable to articulate.Who wants a jerk who keeps fucking my life and finances up? You can be cheap (like refusing to buy me popcorn when you take me to a movie), too religious (God forbid I miss church) and not as friendly with my friends as you should be. We are newlyweds but have been together for six years yet I feel like after marrying you I want to beat the living shit out of you. Thanks for consulting me on that even though you have no clue what our financial situation is. Even if he had done everything right in a nice sized bed I would have felt the same. I love you sunshine buckle up buddy this ride ain't over yet, we've got a lot of years left to see what all those " what if's" turn out to be!!! I'm I the bad one for thinking that sex is an extremely important part of a marriage? If I would have known 16 years ago all the hell that would come our way after we said I do, would I say I do again? Simply because no one else has loved me as well as you, accepted me for the person I am flaws and all, and decided to hold my hand and walk beside me step for step. I come to bed every night hoping that tonight will be the night that you decide to have a moment of passion, and night after night I fall asleep wondering how much longer i can deal with this. Since we have been growing in our relationship with God, our relationship together has been the best in a long time. In this time many people decide to give up or to cheat. I knew that I am meant to be with you and God would work out the rest. And then the big turnaround was you deciding to get closer to God also. You make love to me like no man has ever done before. It took a lot of you asking for my number before I gave in. Four days before the wedding we found out we were pregnant. I don't want a best friend, or a provider, I want a man. Besides, there is ever increasing reasearch to show that there is a scientific basis for the law of attraction, reiki, energy healing, and the abundance mindset. Me, the woman who can clear a box of kleenex at a screening of a sappy movie, fights every single tear that tries to fall and when I do? Or are you too dead to feel anything besides your penis? You told me today my words were poison and I know you are right, I am drowning in it. I want to let go and to sob and to wail and grieve but for once I find it hard to let go.