They won’t be interested in pumping your ego or making you feel young.
Rather they will be someone who will have realistic expectations of you and be accepting of who you are at this time of your life.
I ended up initiating conversation with one guy but that fizzled out once the lecture began and he didn’t find me to continue it afterwards. I was very confused and kinda sad because I thought I had done everything right.
My friend says that since I’m pretty, confident, and whip smart, they’re scared of me and that they were afraid of being made fun of if they broke rank to talk to me. I’m literally the least frightening person out there. Now, if a golden ticket is sitting on a countertop and no one hands it to you, it doesn’t mean the universe hates you.
The good news is that after this email exchange, I had some insight into the root of the problem. I insert additional commentary [in brackets] where I feel it illustrates a point, or just to crack a joke of dubious taste. So I have been trying to go out more often – it’s hard with long hours in lab and a long commute, and I am a bit of a homebody. There is such a difference between what is available for men and woman. What I find most interesting at this point is the whole dating scene.Well, in this department, you’re also not a potted plant. So yes, you did some things right (eg dressing up, showing up). Most important, you didn’t seize control of your own destiny, and that’s what I sense is missing here. [Notice the expressions like “nerd out” or “off-the-wall TV shows” carry an implicit negative judgment about her perfectly normal tastes and tendencies. -AB] So I guess I just don’t know what to talk to them about, so I don’t know how to lead into a conversation or be flirty (I’m TERRIBLE at it.). And I don’t have any other single girls to turn to – almost everyone I know is in a serious relationship or engaged.If there’s someone you want to speak to, speak to him. I don’t want to hear “it will happen soon when you’re not looking” anymore, especially now that it’s the holidays and I know I’ll have to fend off questions from my family.Be cautious men, these women are looking for you to do it all over again and that means house and children.Sure it will start with great sex and they will make you feel “alive” and young but proceed with caution.Here’s our exchange below just as it occurred (with small edits for clarity). Nevertheless, I know I’m not meeting anyone sitting on my tush at home, so I signed up for this network that connects people who have graduated from top tier colleges.I have not edited Rosie’s letters since she expressed herself in perfect grammar and without any spelling mistakes. And I went to a lecture on politics hosted for these people last week.Clearly this is a woman who is highly educated, intelligent, and likely a perfectionist (read: pointlessly hard on herself). I went by myself – which is a huge step outside of my comfort zone – because I know groups of girlfriends can intimidate guys.I also followed your 40% rule – curly brown hair down, wearing tight black pencil skirt below the knees and short-sleeve blouse unbuttoned on the low side.