From when to leave your toothbrush at someone's apartment to when to first say "I love you", a lot of us wonder if our relationship is progressing at a normal pace.
So there we were in his car, he said something silly, I can't really remember what, unconsciously I said something I was thinking alot.“This is why I love you.”I immediately went quiet. He burst out laughing, I didn't find it offensive.How much time do you have before you need to make a move?Charnas says there’s no set timeframe for this, but it’s a good idea to take stock of your own feelings and why this particular “I love you” made you feel uncomfortable.There is no guarantee that the person will stick around when the fun phase is over, either.If you don’t reciprocate, we don’t blame you—the three words uttered that soon would shock anyone.But when you're not ready to meet them halfway, how are you supposed to react? (despite their apparent inability to read the dang room), things can get a little more complicated.“It’s difficult because, especially in the early stages of a relationship, the pacing and timing is really critical,” says relationship psychologist Karin Anderson, Ph. “It’s so much easier and less awkward if you’re on the same tempo.”While it’s tempting to pretend you didn’t hear it if your date says the L-word before you’re there, Anderson says it’s really better to acknowledge it right away. D., a clinical psychologist in private practice in Manhattan, agrees.If you know your relationship is more of a casual thing for you, it makes sense to cut bait and move on before your respective feelings get any more mismatched. “You have to look at it this way: If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone, you have to be able to have difficult conversations with them.”Anderson recommends trying something like, “That feels so great to hear and I’m really excited about this relationship too.Saying "I love you” early on is a sign that the person you are dating is not going to work out, and it is a red flag.Proceed with caution as you mull over the 4 signs that your partner said “I love you” too soon.“I said it after a week to the woman I wound up marrying. I take it very seriously, and it’s not something I want to just say to anyone. I want to mean it when I tell my future wife I love her. There has been more than one occasion where I was drunk and my friends had to take my phone away because I was about to tell a girl I hooked up with like, once that I loved her.” 9. I’ve said it to someone after a few weeks, and that relationship wound up being a train wreck. And that’s not to say falling in love fast is bad, just that falling in love slowly is perfectly fine.” —10. I’ve had maybe eight serious relationships where saying ‘I love you’ was even on the table.Looking back on past relationships, I was probably always quick to say ‘I love you,' but I was crazy about my wife from the moment I met her.”4. I don’t think many people I know realize I take it this seriously, but I do. “I think I know if this is going to be a long-term relationship within a month or two, which is usually when I’m read to say, ‘I love you.’ But I wait until a good moment. The woman I’m with now, she and I took it very slow. And that window for me definitely wasn’t an exact science.