If I'm in an exclusive relationship, I can lie on the couch while she does stuff with her family.If I'm committed, I'm doing that stuff with her family.As time goes on, we should still be on our best behavior, but the real versions of ourselves start to come through, too—like we may have cleaned our apartment, top to bottom, the first few times our new beau came over… Perhaps we once thought he or she could never see our makeup-less face. By future, I mean things that are weeks or months away. but then we laxed and he saw us for the none-too-neat person we are. Yet, over time, we started to not wear makeup all the time around the person, and guess what? Any relationship that is future-forward is a key sign that the person you’re with doesn’t see you disappearing anytime soon. You cannot envision not seeing or having them in your life. And, why would you stop a too-good-to-be-true thing?
Usually there's some episode(someone gets tired of the other dating other people), or a moment (you sit down and talk about it) where you agree that you will be exclusive.Here are telltale signs it’s time to define the relationship. (I’m not saying to define yourselves with labels if you’re not there yet (emotionally) but you can always define it as “friends with benefits” or “on the way to exclusive” status so both of you are on the same page.)You just can’t help it.They take up a large percentage in the pie chart in your brain: it’s the person (about 90-95 percent), then the rest of your activities, like eating, sleeping, and working.But when we have nothing but nice things to say about someone, chances are this one's a keeper.For many people I know, they knew they were really into someone—or on the verge of dating them seriously—when they’d get jealous about seeing or hearing about them with someone else.“We never had ‘the talk,’” they may say as a defense.Or maybe you’re the one who doesn’t want to commit to to them 100 percent yet.The example Jake and I used was:"If I'm committed, I'm picking your dad up from the airport."Commitment is when lives are intertwined so much that your lives become one unified life.It's the reason that my recently married friend suddenly had a calendar that he and his wife kept in Google that I had to check in order to make plans with him-their lives had become that intertwined.You also no longer flirt with your hot coffee barista or want to go bar-hopping with friends in hopes of meeting someone, for you’ve already found them. (I am not suggesting this as a way to someone's heart and exclusivity, though.Then, you are just crazy and trying too hard, Leaving things behind usually happens naturally and is not forced.)At the beginning of dating someone new, we’re on our ultra-best behavior.