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So you can see my discomfort in admitting I’ve had boyfriends, when it’s associated with sex in a rural place where social status and respect is relative to your marital status or if you date.

On the flip side, dating in the major cities is easier to nod into the seen and “not see .” Living in Marrakech, I was able to meet and befriend 20-something year old Moroccans, both guys and girls who dated other Moroccans or foreigners. Personally I know some people whose families are more comfortable with their young adult children bringing their “best friend” home.

On an almost contradictory point, I should point out in big cities some couples actually live together.

Illegally I should point out but again it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Before I forget I should also point out that it’s not just for religious reasons that dating is taboo but it is actually illegal to have premarital sex in Morocco.

Prostitution is also illegal and while the two things are mutually exclusive topics they both occur in Morocco.

By keeping these experiences only in private conversations, we give power to the taboo and no one wants to feel like their desire for love is taboo.

I was simply introduced as “Brenda” and we actually never expressed we were dating or exclusive.

I lived with my Moroccan boyfriend for about a year before we got engaged.

Other couples don’t live together and yet exit from their homes at different times when one visits the other so people won’t see them.

Preface: This is a guest post I asked Brenda to write as my dating experience is over a decade old at this point.

Both she and I wrestled with how to talk about this topic but I knew I wanted to. Because I get emails ALL THE TIME asking these questions.

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