Following bullshit "dating advice" that puts limits on intimacy is the absolute worst thing you can do because it's an illusion of control since A) it doesn't even work, people can and will leave at any time between a one night stand and fifty years of marriage, and B) it prevents you from learning how to overcome those obstacles and grow as a more matured person. Mine is only a few weeks so to me, if you’re becoming emotionally invested in someone after a few weeks, that’s a problem. Thank you so much for taking the time to engage in my argument.
But I think you've misinterpreted what I've been trying to say in some minor but important way. And I get that there are asexual people out there and people with very low sex drive. But that's not what I'm seeking when I'm dating.
not trying to acquire a relationship or boyfriend as if they were trying to acquire a new handbag or pair of heels.
If you want a great relationship, then focus on having a great relationship.
Let me take the opportunity to clarify and improve my argument. What I was trying to say with my point one is that if I date with the intention of finding a long time partner, and the other person has the same intention, but either rejects my attempts to create physical intimacy or does everything to avoid getting close to me without being very vocal about their reasons, I would interpret that as something like "I don't see you in that way - I feel no attraction - but I still think you're an amazing person to hang out with."Because I really disagree with the second part of your point. I think we have a very different concept of the term "dating".
If you're dating someone, and you think they are really cool and attractive, you do want to sleep with them eventually. For me, dating is exactly for trying to find out if you're compatible.
All three are useful in pursuit of learning the answer to your question.I wanted to see her again and again, talk to her, had out with her, and I was falling in love. Some people are very adamant they are not wanting a relationship and if that is the case, it would be nice to know..” That helps to keep in mind when one meets a person who claims he/she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, and then a few weeks later goes into a relationship with someone else. you are on the same page at the appropriate juncture that is relevant to the context.If she’d ask me on forehand I’d honestly answer “only hookup”. “But she didn’t want a relationship, I really caught her in the wrong time”. Aggregate a host of information to define your own conclusion. The best way to accrue observable data is to ask them.I do think your argument has so extremely logical points and is easy to follow. I don't think you should be having sex with more than one person at a time.And if you are going to be having sex with multiple people at the same time, you should be letting your partner know that in advance.The second best way is to observe data in their actions.To make an analogy, if someone said they were a doctor but don't have a lab coat, medical license, applicable experience, or accessible knowledge then their words don't mean much and you can safely conclude they aren't a doctor. It's best to avoid people who don't know what they want anyway, but particularly if you're looking for something specific that is contradictory to other options.and if they don’t do what you want, you are entitled to punish them, shame them, berate them, invade their privacy, etc. Worry leads to desperation, desperation leads to acting needy, acting needy leads to the guy wanting nothing to do with you. Don’t fixate on him – consider yourself on the dating market until he specifically and clearly locks you down into a relationship.It’s ridiculous and insane, but common and therefore accepted by the masses as “the way it is.” The fact of the matter is: you can’t control anyone but yourself. And at the end of the day, everyone (including you) is going to do whatever they want to do. Moreover, you’ll find that the women that have the most success in their dating life don’t pay attention to things like worrying about what the guy is doing or “plotting and scheming” how to control the guy’s behavior.I disagree with committing into "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship and then just dump a person if you don't like the sexual chemistry. If I say to someone: "I want to date you and only you" that means i have at least the knowledge and confidence that that relationship could last more than a few "pump and dumps".I'm not talking about Marriage level commitment here.