It turns out that a kid there was calling everyone he knew (and they called everyone they knew) to come to a party in a vacant condo.A horde of older teenagers brought booze, which my son (who had never tasted hard liquor) drank to extreme excess.There is no reason to be out past 12 midnight unless getting in trouble and parties shouldn't be going past 1. During times when we have relaxed the rules, we have usually come to regret it.
I think your son is either moving with a very fast crowd, or is using the ''other people's parents let them'' argument. It reminds me of when my son was 11 and he assured me that EVERYONE had a phone.We're ALL the meanest, strictest, rottenest parent out there. I've had the same - exact same - conversation with my daughter. He's only 16 and clearly operating with the self-centered teenage brain. Other people are allowed to parent their kids how they want, but like every other parenting decision, you do what feels right to you. Some allow no sleepovers or in by 11 pm no matter what.One thing to keep in mind, is that plans really do change, and it's likely that something laid down at will change half a dozen times before am. I can't imagine what the alternative would be - live how he likes? Sit down and calmly ask him to imagine the WORST case scenario - and ask him what he would do and what he would hope you would do. If you want to know where your kid is going, you get to ask. Some parents dont care at all or dont check up and some of those kids are without anchors.We let our son sleep over mostly with relatives (cousins) as long as we can verify that there is an adult present.Also too many instances I know of with kids who both claim to be sleeping at the others house while they are both out all night.Nothing good can happen during a sleepover, just bad behavior even if it is just not getting enough sleep. I am speaking from the experience of a mom who has a very sweet teenager who has gotten into some pretty significant and dangerous situations when he swerved from my rules, which are the same as yours. Rule: always know the name and contact info for parents of a party-giver, and speak to the parents of party-giver before the party.Staying up until midnight or 1 AM is also not a good idea because it interferes with good sleep habits. We tell our kids, if you want a sleepover with your friends, we'll arrange a camping trip and they can stay in the same tent. On one occasion my son (at age 14) broke this rule. Instead, this girl's mother drove the girl and her friends (including my son) to a condo eight miles away and dropped them there, without ascertaining where they would be, precisely, or with whom. House rules are midnight curfew on weekend nights, and 1 am if going to a party where we have the name and address of the party-giver.One overnight per weekend, and as above, we have to know name and address of where the sleepover is, unless we already know the parents.He jumped into a pool with his i Pod and phone in his pocket.He was blind drunk, and his ''friends'' left him vomiting and alone in an upstairs bedroom in the empty condo.