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"But passionate marriage requires that you become an adult."And this, Schnarch admits, is a challenge.Becoming an authentic adult means going against the whole drift of the culture.

"It's easy to have hot sex with a stranger," Schnarch insists.The big sex killer was anxiety—the cause of rapid ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and general failure to perform.To rid a couple of anxiety, partners were first to avoid all sexual contact for months.Schnarch contends that marital attachment doesn't leave enough space for partners to speak their own mind, think their own thoughts, or attain their ambitions and dreams.Attachment not only reduces adults to infants, it also reduces marriage to a quest for safety, security, and compensation for childhood disappointments.Dating Tips from Mary Balfour Field tested tips on setting the scene for that first date I’m Mary Balfour and my job is to help people fall in love!It can be quite tough out there for singles seeking a soul-mate in our crazy disconnected world.And it pays wide-ranging dividends in domains from friendship to creativity to work.To understand just how subversive such thinking is, it helps to know that Schnarch has been articulating his ideas about the emotional and erotic power of independence within relationships just as mainstream psychology has almost unanimously endorsed attachment as the heart of adult relationships.It specifically means, among other things, soothing your own bad feelings without the help of another, pursuing your own goals, and standing on your own two feet. But Schnarch finds that marriage can't succeed unless we claim our sense of self .The resulting growth turns right around and fuels the marriage, enabling passionate sex.

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