He continues to treat me well, but in the back of my mind I’m scared things aren’t going to change and that I’m wasting my time.
I want to have kids and he knows this (and says this is fine) so this further complicates the situation because I don’t want to waste these years with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to commit at this time.
It still raises the question of how long that will take, but it’s a much different situation than an apathetic guy passively seeing a girl with little effort or interest in the future of the relationship. Try your best to be rational and to avoid jumping to conclusions…
Having a title sounds like it would be reassuring, but if you were forced to choose between having an amazing relationship I would say that it would be a good move for you to take a look at what your thoughts are on the matter. I say this because when you mentioned that you proposed leaving the relationship after he didn’t want to call you his girlfriend, it struck me as kind of an extreme, all-or-nothing type of response.
At the very least, if you can see it from this point of view it will probably help you decide how long you’re willing to wait to find out.
I’ll touch upon a few things that I’ve said in previous Ask a Guy posts.
One thing I said was that if you’ve been seeing a guy for 3 months and he’s not calling you his girlfriend, chances are he won’t.
For that reason, he might believe (on an emotional level) that if he starts defining commitments that the relationship will go downhill.He also said that just because he doesn’t have the capacity today it doesn’t mean that he won’t have it in 2,4, or 6 months.Being a woman, I accepted his logic and things have been good.It sounds like he’s reluctant because he’s dealing with his own stuff and he wants to make sure that both of you are ready for a relationship.Take it from me, sometimes a guy can really love a woman and not be ready or in a position to have a relationship.I don’t get that vibe from what you’re talking about here.I get the impression that he is working out his stuff and his intention is for the relationship to develop once he’s stabilized himself.My bet is that the root of it is some kind of fear or bad experience.I don’t know the guy or have much information on him, so I am just making a guess.His ex still gives him a hard time, but he says that he has moved on. Last week I bought up the subject and the answer wasn’t what I expected.He told me how great I was and that he loved what we have, but at this time, he didn’t have the capacity to commit to more.