I just knew that if I did not have some sort of relationship, I did not feel whole.
I did not feel like a man if somebody was not dangling from my arm. I’ve always called it my “emotional winter.”I went through that emotional winter and I came out the other side a different person than I was before.
That's probably why so many divorcing people have questions about sex and new relationships.
At what point is it appropriate to start seeing someone new? And, if children are a part of the equation, how soon can I introduce the kids to my new "friend?
I can only be thankful I was able to hide my mistakes behind their nap time. So many dads don’t have that and I talk about the fact that when you screw up and when you’ve got a kid that’s 11, 12 years old, they’re going to see everything you do.For the next year, I went back to my old way and then about six months into that one year span, I hit probably the lowest point that I’ve ever been in my life.I was to the point from a dating prospective, I did not know what I wanted.I, fortunately, was able to mess up and not have that problem.But I came out of the emotional winter a completely different person, completely different set of priorities. It is a very unfortunate thing that over the course of those early years that I made some of the mistakes that I made and I hate that. If I had a man or men in my life speaking to me, saying, “You need to really reconsider what you’re doing here,” I’m convinced I would not have made some of those choices. I would often prey upon the single mothers who probably didn’t have a lot of confidence in themselves, because they were single moms and whatever and I would show them a good time and invariably within a month or two months into the relationship, they would want something else and I would be done, because I wasn’t ready.It’s difficult to give a specific time frame for waiting.I don’t think you can say wait 12 months from the date your divorce becomes final because your emotional journey follows a separate path from your legal process.My head was fixed and looking in a completely different direction and I shortly thereafter met “the Queen,” who I write about all the time.I do agree with Kyle in waiting to date after divorce until you have a better sense of who you are and like who you are.* I don’t think you have to wait until you have complete clarity on that – dating may help bring that clarity but you’ll definitely want to wait before you commit to another serious relationship.