I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.
It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.
If the photos don’t cut it, we generally don’t click on the person. But if we make it past the photo, skimming profiles, the first thing you'll notice is the profile tagline.
This little ditty can compel us to read further, or it can cause us to roll our eyes and move on.
” attitude and the kind of effort that aligns itself with your intuition and all of your wonderfully weird qualities. Tune out that well-intentioned advice, and keep what you want at the forefront of your mind.
The goal here is not snagging a partnership that looks like a carbon copy of every rom-com.
We frequently get requests for help from Plenty of Fish (see our review on POF) and Match (our review on Match) members for advice on making their online dating profiles more appealing.
Typically, the alarm bells start clanging as soon as we see their profile taglines: 90% of these taglines are either typical (overused and boring) or slightly needy.
We perused hundreds of dating site profiles and headlines for red flags or dullsville, so you don’t have to. There are more cringe-worthy headlines than we thought possible.
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You could find someone to sit across from at the breakfast table while reading your own newspapers, Kindles, novels, or whatever.
And proximity without talking is THE DREAM, you guys. And yes, dates are the necessary vehicle that will get you to this connection.