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And, while I appreciate the feminist research that has gone into things like studying how this commercialist exploitation of hyper-beautiful models impacts women, I feel like we may be getting a little led astray here.

Because here’s the thing; when I was dating women, I still saw those images; they just didn’t bug me as much.

This guy I hooked up with mentioned, a few times, how much he likes very petite women.

Now, I don’t think I’m “fat” but I’m not “small.” I’m sort of a middle build kind of girl.

And then I was like, oh yeah — this is that feeling from back when I had boyfriends. Like I am not worthy of being loved because of how I look. I feel almost physically sub-human, as if any man who looks at my naked body without saying something cruel is doing me a kindness. When I was dating women, and when I was not dating, I didn’t really stress out about my appearance.

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And, the “skinny girl” narrative works because it’s conventional; it’s something a “non-creepy” dude might be into.

I mean, I think it was a reasonable hypothesis — women feel like shit about how they look because they see hyper-beauty everywhere — but again, I think there’s more to the story than that.

Because, female fetishization of beauty was not as painful to me as male fetishization.

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