Some may not have ever dated another woman, because they married the first woman they ever met.A lot of older widowers have grown children; in fact, many may even be grandfathers. Widowers often need a woman’s touch around the house.Other parts of your life start to shrink because all your thoughts are focused on how good it would be together.You think about having kids, raising a family, sharing lots of romantic adventures together. That will only happen IF he/she likes you, IF you continue to like him/her, IF you decide to have a baby, etc. This does NOT mean that you should maintain relationships with other people “in case you broke up”. I’m talking about what you would do if you were completely alone.Let’s look at that list again, and you may see some challenges.A man who has been married to one woman for over forty years can be challenging.He has probably been taken care of, coddled, and somewhat controlled.
He just wants to tell you all the special things they did together.They might be used to a wife who did all the domestic things for them, such as the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, or even fixing a running toilet.So you see a widower online, and you are thinking, “What a great catch this man is! ” Not having done your homework and investigated the challenges, you are encouraged.Perhaps he invites you to his house, but everywhere you go, even the bathroom, reeks of her. He may keep you hidden from them at first, not knowing how they will react to their father with another woman. Such a man may tell you that he is working through his grieving process and that he is trying to learn to love someone again.You try not to get your feelings hurt; but alas, it is impossible to believe that he wants anything to do with you, when her presence is everywhere. Or, he might introduce you, but they may not want to meet you, or get to know anything about you. “Trying” to love you is not a phrase you want to hear.This man has little experience with women, other than his late wife.Dating may be the last thing he ever expected to be doing again.Here’s why: The root of all pain like this comes from your imagination and an uncertainty about what to do.When you like a person, you constantly think about them.Many have been married for several years—in some cases, more than forty years.Many have had comfortable, long-term relationships and have gotten secure in their daily existence.