I have noticed that cute girls tend to be quite bad at approaching guys. She is studying computer science and surrounded by a lot of guys.They always get approached by guys and don’t have to make the first step themselves. It’s always interesting to hear all the boring questions they ask when they try to hit on guys: ‘What’s your name? Despite that, she is having difficulties with dating.He might be judging Japanese women based on his cultural values without taking into account the Japanese context.
Fortunately, thanks to zoomingjapan, I have a good sample of comments on this.On my last page, I told him that it’s his story now and that there are still many white pages that can be filled.’ It might be obvious to many people but doing all this to a guy who is not interested (and possibly not used to dealing with girls) is not only ineffective but also counterproductive. If he was experienced in dating, he could have said something like, ‘I know that you are interested in me but I just don’t see you that way.I appreciate that you are making an effort but I don’t think it’s going to work. ’ But there’s only so much you can expect from a Japanese computer science major boy. ‘Over three weeks later that he completely ignored the whole thing’, she writes. ‘All of my friends told me that this is just such a wonderful present that he has to fall in love with me’, she writes.There was also one page with a drawing of his face. Why doesn’t she understand that I’m not interested?The book ended with telling him that I was still willing to date him even though he turned me down with this obvious excuse of working in the same team. I want her to stop doing embarrassing things in front of people but I don’t know how. Hopefully it will stop as time goes by.’ She was giving emotional gifts he couldn’t reciprocate, and that put him under a lot of pressure and made him uneasy.These are not the kind of thing you learn in your language textbooks.However, there are many people who are successful at dating in Japan.Every page had about 2 or 3 sentences in English and Japanese and a drawing.I’m horribly bad at drawing but I put lots of effort and I got honest praise from the people around me whom I showed the book.To be fair, I used to feel that most kids of my age weren’t mature enough.I am less judgemental now because I realise that I might simply have had a differently way of measuring maturity. Isabel, a German girl who has been living in Japan for about half a year, is a good example.