QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Sabotaging Your Love Life?Let’s talk about what a relationship actually is since the majority of people blindly want, crave and chase the idea of having a relationship and yet, very few actually understand some essential points about what a relationship is…Most of the love stories we see in pop culture are rooted in infatuation…not real love.
And it’s not surprising given the very unrealistic portrayals of love in movies, TV, and music.You just simply enjoy them as a person and you’re happy with them just being who they are. Again, I have to emphasize that it’s Fixation, on the other hand, does not feel pleasant.It does not feel good, but it does feel very urgent, very important, and very stressful.People who have good relationships observe how they themselves feel in a relationship with another person (whether it’s a lover, a friend or a co-worker).They observe if their connection to the other person feels like love (good) or obsession (bad).I don’t care if you have a million songs on your i Pod.If you’re not listening to the music, you’re not experiencing music.If a relationship with someone makes you feel bad, that is your mind screaming, “This person is incompatible with you! ” If a relationship feels like suffocation, that’s a huge clue that you’re not in a relationship with someone who’s compatible with you. In a good relationship, everything just unfolds effortlessly (well, 99% of the time within a good relationship is effortless with the occasional 1% of the time where you have to put in the effort to make sure things stay in a good place).You don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells, worrying that you might screw something up. You don’t feel like you’re suffocating, wishing and hoping to finally get some sweet relief and get to breathe. In fact, you never even think about possibly losing them because you don’t feel you need to possess them in order to experience the love you have for them. Yes, popular songs make it sound like it’s supposed to be. But movies and music are wrong, love is meant to be effortless and easy. Why is breaking your fixation essential to having success in your love life?A relationship is not a possession, like a stone or a purse or a car. A relationship is simply the interaction you’re having with that person as it’s happening and the general, overall tone of your interactions. Society doesn’t see relationships this way, for the most part. Relationships are living and experienced in-the-moment, like music. If it’s sitting on your MP3 player and you’re not playing it, then it is simply data.Our society tries to make relationships into a thing – a thing that can be worked on, fixed or broken. You can say you have the song or own it, but saying you have a song on your i Pod has nothing to do with your experience of the song as it’s playing.