Everyone has moments of narcissism now and then, and they're not always a bad thing: having self-confidence can help you enjoy professional success, for instance.
But, when that narcissism turns extreme, it can lead to very unhealthy relationship behaviors.
Here’s what you learn, though: if you can never reach their impossibly high standards, why try? And, if that feels good, then why not reject the one who only wants an ego-prop and find a partner who likes version of you?
If you date a narcissist, you find that they try and shape people to make themselves look better.
And, in a weird way, this is where dating a narcissist can help.
By showing you what you shouldn't be putting up with, a relationship with a narcissist can teach you what it is you really want, need, and deserve from love: They’d promise you the moon if they thought it would make you admire them – but it’s not something they can deliver.
True narcissists have a need to control people and situations, combined with a lack of empathy.
fix it: putting up with their tantrums, manipulations, and emotional unavailability only indulges them.
Ego may be experienced and expressed differently by gender, but make no mistake, both male and female egos play into relationship choices.
Moreover, it is important to pay attention to how the male and female egos interact, especially when guarding against unhealthy choices (what we call foolery in the Grown Zone).
They use tactics like guilt-tripping to keep this attention and stop those they date from having their own hobbies and friends.
After you’ve moved on from them, however, you rediscover just how necessary it is to fulfill your own needs too, and you see the value of those who encourage you to be a happy, well-rounded partner rather than a one-track devotee.