While you can’t change your personality on an ongoing basis, you can certainly push your shy personality to the limit for 60 minutes and initiate lots of good conversation topics. Overt flirting can actually be a turnoff for some, but a little playful flirting can go a long way.
Shy people often get too stuck in their heads to relax and let their flirting come out.
Off the bat, I’m thinking of the Maroon 5 song, “Unkiss Me.” The point of that song is that its singer, Adam Levine, wants to go back in time and avoid getting hurt.
But with shy men and women, the problem is often the opposite: They feel uncomfortable going out on a limb and kissing their date or making a move to begin with.
Say, “I’m not sure if this is your thing, but if you want to eat, we could try this place I like; if you would prefer to do some sort of activity, we could do a movie or walk through a museum.” By taking an active approach in dating, you won’t default to your shy ways as easily.The good news is that these behaviors, while they can thwart a successful dating life if left unchecked, can totally be changed if you make an effort.Check out the shy behaviors below and see if any of them apply to you. The key to dating is to avoid taking the whole thing too seriously.They will often scope others out for a while to figure out what makes everyone tick before letting their own guards down.When it comes to planning dates with someone new, shy people tend to be too passive.I’ve expressed that much, hopefully it just takes a little time and compassion. Quiet people aren't really quiet people, they are just people that are a bit timid until trust is built up.Once there's trust between both of you, she'll probably be very open and talkative.If you’re an outgoing or very confident person, you probably can’t imagine meeting someone you like but not following up soon after to set up the next date.For shy men and women, however, putting themselves in a risky or vulnerable position with others feels uncomfortable and provokes a lot of anxiety.After all, it would be truly impossible to deeply care about anyone you’ve just met, so remember that the stranger in front of you on a date shouldn’t have that much more power over your feelings or mood.If you make sure to play a part setting up the date so you go to places you love – regardless of how the date goes – you will get better at feeling relaxed and avoid thinking about the possibility of rejection. Sometimes shy men and women can be people pleasers.