Okay, I’m gonna let you in on something that very few women know.When a guy says things like, ‘I’ve never liked a girl so much after only a few dates’ or he texts you saying he misses you when you barely know each other, he’s not making some kind of grand, everlasting declaration that he’ll always feel this way.If all else fails, tell people what a good friend told a particularly aggressive street preacher at a bus stop one time: “We got on the bus and it pulled away slowly and his mouth hung open all the while as he tried to parse the truth of that statement.Moderation Note: People I’d most like to hear from in comments: Fellow Jewish folks who can give the Letter Writer comfort, humor, and solidarity in coping strategies.Having brand new coworker dynamics to navigate just makes things more confusing. Idk how to handle this at work especially where I’m worried my preexisting annoyance will come across as hostility or ingratitude to people I’ve just met but would like to develop at least an amiable working relationship with. Bad news: The good people of your Midwestern homeland are probably gonna keep inviting you to Christmas/”holiday” shit literally forever. Right now it’s like every Geek Social Fallacy mated with the Spirit of Christmas and then they high-fived the Invisible Hand, and anyone who isn’t psyched about this time of year is made to feel like they are broken somehow. It’s just…It’s just the quickest way.) You don’t owe your coworker a note or a return present in exchange for the hot chocolate at work.
I’d love to come hang out another time, but at this time of year I really like to focus on Jewish celebrations/my holiday traditions/my Jewish family & friends, so, I won’t make it.” In other words, treat the person like they have good intentions, acknowledge that the invitation is kindly meant, and reiterate your refusal. If you feel safe to do so, go ahead and let it be as uncomfortable for them as it is for you. Scripts/strategies: I can’t turn down the background volume for you but hopefully this can give you some confidence in sticking by your crankiness without apology.Not only do I have my own holiday to celebrate that is much less stressful thank you very much, I really hate the constant pressure to observe someone else’s holidays.How can me not celebrating YOUR holiday ruin it FOR YOU?The fear is rooted in insecurities: What if they don’t like me as much as I like them?What if they’re not that into me and I end up making a fool of myself falling for someone when they don’t feel the same way? It may seem hard to believe, but in the beginning of a relationship, a guy will try to feel out how much a woman likes him …There’s a difference between leaving a tradition and never being inside it in the first place (and still being expected to comply). If you want to patiently and sincerely explain that #Not All Christmas Lovers are like that and you would never, ever do this to a Jewish coworker, this is definitely a day to practice being quiet. Specifically, he’s checking to see if you’ll say that you feel the same way.MORE: The Top 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away If you say something like, “Really? ” and get all excited, then he knows you’re really into him.Once he believes that you really like him, it’s at that point he’ll relax and start being himself.In the beginning phase of a relationship, the guy wants you to like him and wants to know that you do.