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Accomodating the elderly counselors term paper

Nowadays, it’s not enough to be happy—if you can be even happier.

The good news, at least according to Donald Winnicott, the influential English pediatrician and child psychiatrist, was that you didn’t have to be a perfect mother to raise a well-adjusted kid.With baby on the brain and term papers to write, I couldn’t ignore the barrage of research showing how easy it is to screw up your kids.Of course, everyone knows that growing up with “Mommy Dearest” produces a very different child from one raised by, say, a loving PTA president who has milk and homemade cookies waiting after school.Childhoods generally aren’t perfect—and if theirs had been, why would these people feel so lost and unsure of themselves?It went against everything I’d learned in my training.You just had to be, to use the term Winnicott coined, a “good-enough mother.” I was also relieved to learn that we’d moved beyond the concept of the “schizophrenogenic mother,” who’s solely responsible for making her kid crazy.(The modern literature acknowledges that genetics—not to mention fathers—play a role in determining mental health.) Still, in everything we studied—from John Bowlby’s “attachment theory” to Harry Harlow’s monkeys, who clung desperately to cloth dummies when separated from their mothers—the research was clear: fail to “mirror” your children, or miss their “cues,” or lavish too little affection on them, and a few decades later, if they had the funds and a referral, they would likely end up in one of our psychotherapy offices, on the couch next to a box of tissues, recounting the time Mom did this and Dad didn’t do that, for 50 minutes weekly, sometimes for years.She had come in, she told me, because she was “just not happy.” And what was so upsetting, she continued, was that she felt she had nothing to be unhappy about.She reported that she had “awesome” parents, two fabulous siblings, supportive friends, an excellent education, a cool job, good health, and a nice apartment. Where were the abandoning, devaluing, or chaotic caregivers in her life?As an overwhelmed parent myself, I’d sit in session and secretly wonder how these fabulous parents had done it all.Until, one day, another question occurred to me: Was it possible these parents had done too much?

539 comments

  1. Older adults are defined as persons 65 years of age and older. Research indicates that psychological interventions that historically have proven effective with. report should document both weaknesses and strengths. Although few studies have formally examined its efficacy in older adults, couples therapy may be an.

  2. Aug 15, 2011. A therapist and mother reports. With baby on the brain and term papers to write, I couldn't ignore the barrage of research. treat our kids like adults when they're children, and we infantilize them when they're 18 years old.

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